Withdrawal Symptoms
When you step away from this addiction you will face withdrawal symptoms. The younger you were when you started looking at porn and the longer you looked at it the more severe the withdrawal symptoms will be. Withdrawal symptoms vary in content, severity, and length of time.
My withdrawal symptoms peaked at week seven. Around day 100 my view on sexuality fundamentally changed and it really helped with my withdrawal symptoms. (note several porn addiction websites talk about 90 day rebooting that resets your view on sex, not sure if this should be classified as a withdrawal symptom or a part of the healing process). And at day 259 I feel that I am probably past all the major withdrawal symptoms.
It is of the utmost importance to share whatever withdrawal symptoms you have with your councilor/accountability partner. Galations 6:2 tells us to bear one another burdens, and your withdrawal symptoms are about to be a huge burden on your life. They can not help you bear your burden if you do not share it.
Dopamine withdrawal
The first withdrawal symptom you will face will be the dopamine withdrawal. When you masturbate your body produces a chemical known as dopamine it’s the chemical that makes you feel good during masturbation. When that chemical goes away because you don’t masturbate your body tells you to do masturbate again to bring back that chemical. Everytime you tried to quit this addiction but couldn’t because it got to uncomfortable was due your dependence of this chemical.
A decent article explaining dopamine withdrawal can be found here https://dopaminedialogue.wordpress.com/withdrawal-2/
Physical manifestation of dopamine withdrawal can include pain in various places in your body, particularly in the groin region (this is known as blue ball), shakes, insomnia, fatigue, headaches and other symptoms. I only had one of those symptoms. Some have none some have all, your journey will be unique.
Psychological manifestation can include anxiety, irritability, sense of loss, depression, fear, sadness, lack of focus among others. Unfortunately I only started writing about my journey after day 100 so I do not remember any of these symptoms although I think I had several at the time. You may have none of them you may have all of them, and you may have some that are different than those listed.
What is important is that as you face any of these symptoms let your councilor/accountability partner know. You will be amazed at how much power it takes from your addiction when you frankly discuss this with your councilor/accountability partner.
Flatline
Flatline can be called the death of the libido. It is where you do not have any sexual desire, to the point that you are vey aware that you have no sexual desire. Personally if you ask me this is the flesh purposely trying to get you to look at porn by threatening you with no erections for the rest of your life. And it will use this to try to get you to look at porn to see if you can get an erection.
After I first masturbated a few times I knew I had done wrong and tried to quit. I quit for a few weeks. But this death of libido made me go into fear about ever having another erection so I foolishly went back to masturbation. I do not know if I was even looking at porn at this time, it was very soon after I started masturbating.
During my first month I had two weeks of this, and then sometime before my hundred day mark I had another one. It was without a doubt my flesh trying to scare me back into porn and masturbation.
Apparently some people really appreciate the flatline because it makes it easier to not think about sex or porn, but unfortunately it made me fearful. But for me this was one more place where I needed to trust God.
Again it was helpful to discuss this with my pastor.
Rationalization
This is an annoying one. Your flesh will constantly try to rationalize why you should go back to porn. I mean everything is a reason to go back to porn. Suffering from the effects of dopamine withdrawal? Your flesh will rationalize porn and masturbation. Not suffering from the effects of dopamine withdrawal? Your flesh will rationalize CELEBRATING with porn and masturbation. Get an erection, the flesh rationalizes this is a reason to look at porn and masturbate. Flatlining, this too is a reason to look at porn and masturbate.
I am at 40 weeks and my flesh tries to rationalize why I should look at porn, masturbate, not guard my eyes, fantasize about sex, etc. It is annoying.
Heck one day for whatever reason immodesty kept popping up in front of me and I kept bouncing my eyes without hesitation. You know what my flesh told me, it said I should look at porn because I would fail sooner or later anyway, and my response was that I cant even look at cleavage or a womans thighs. At this point I think it would be a hard thing for me to look at porn. Heck the very last time I looked at porn I was very depressed doing so, how would I feel after so much success?
Again this is a conversation I had with my pastor and it was so empowering to bring it up with him.
Fantasy
As you stop looking at porn your brain has got to process all the stuff you ever saw, and the things you fantasized about seeing. Those things will constantly be brought front and center into your mind. Recognize you will likely have several weeks where you face an avalanche of thoughts of all the stuff you saw.
My worst week was week 7, and for the most part this stuff stopped after week 15.
Again talk about it with your councilor/accountability partner.
Horny
This is opposite of the flatline. You very well may have several days in a row where you have erections hold for hours. I actually had some very funny conversations with my pastor about this. I had three days in a row where I had erections for over 5 hours.
Again when you talk to your councilor/accountability partner it takes away the power from the addiction.
Awareness
I do not know if this really falls under the umbrella of a withdrawal symptom or not but as you stop looking at porn after a few weeks or a few months you will began being very aware of the bodies of women. I was brought up to bounce my eyes off of immodesty, but as I became aware of every curve of every woman who was not dressed immodestly I had more areas to bounce my eyes.
While I was looking at porn why would I notice women? But once I was done looking at porn how would I not notice women. I am designed to like how they look. Its just my eyes lingered to long and I needed to be careful about that.
This awareness is a wonderful sign that you are overcoming your addiction. Don’t be sad here, but talk to your councilor/accountability partner.
Wet Dream
This is another one of those things where I do not know if it falls into the category of withdrawal symptom or not. There is a real possibility that you started masturbating before you ever had a wet dream. Personally I dont remember any wet dreams before I first masturbated. The thing is after several weeks of not looking at porn and not masturbating you will begin to have wet dreams. Your body constantly produces sperm and it has to do something with it, so if your not having sex or masturbating your bodies only recourse is wet dreams.
In the book "Every Man's Battle" (a book I do not recommend to the unmarried) he says that wet dreams are wonderful. I do not know how many people who stop looking at porn and stop masturbating find wet dreams to be a wonderful experience, I have not. I think it really just depends on the individual. Some will find that it makes the addiction easier to step away from others will find wet dreams drawing them back to porn.
I am definitely one of those people where wet dreams draws them back to porn. When I first got them they came with some really sexually graphic dreams, which took around a day or so to get out of my head, then once passed the 120 days or so mark I stopped getting graphic dreams with them, in fact most of the time since there have been no dreams (that I remember) when I had the wet dreams. But even then without having any sexual dream at all after wet dreams I feel strongly pulled back to porn. The day I write this I am 40 weeks in (280 days) and still they pull be toward porn with no dreams. Its frustrating, and yes I discuss this very intimate detail with my Pastor who is my councilor because it greatly helps take away the draw to porn. Is it embarrassing? Some what, but it is far better than the shame that comes with secretly viewing porn and masturbating.
That said twice I had somewhat painful wet dreams. I did so after the 200 day mark. One a week after the first. I have had wet dreams since and none have been painful since, I suspect due to all the masturbation I did in the bast not just my mind needed adjustment but my flesh to. If this happens to you endure it a few times. If it keeps up after 3 or 4 times and gets worse see a urologist, you may have something else wrong with you not related to withdrawal symptoms.
One last thing, WET DREAMS ARE NOT FAILURE! When I first got the wet dreams with graphically sexual dreams I felt like I had failed, and I felt like I was back to square one. Wet dreams are just a natural part of life for a guy, that you may have totally skipped until now due to when you started your addiction. The graphic dreams will go away it may take months but they do go away. Endure.
My withdrawal symptoms peaked at week seven. Around day 100 my view on sexuality fundamentally changed and it really helped with my withdrawal symptoms. (note several porn addiction websites talk about 90 day rebooting that resets your view on sex, not sure if this should be classified as a withdrawal symptom or a part of the healing process). And at day 259 I feel that I am probably past all the major withdrawal symptoms.
It is of the utmost importance to share whatever withdrawal symptoms you have with your councilor/accountability partner. Galations 6:2 tells us to bear one another burdens, and your withdrawal symptoms are about to be a huge burden on your life. They can not help you bear your burden if you do not share it.
Dopamine withdrawal
The first withdrawal symptom you will face will be the dopamine withdrawal. When you masturbate your body produces a chemical known as dopamine it’s the chemical that makes you feel good during masturbation. When that chemical goes away because you don’t masturbate your body tells you to do masturbate again to bring back that chemical. Everytime you tried to quit this addiction but couldn’t because it got to uncomfortable was due your dependence of this chemical.
A decent article explaining dopamine withdrawal can be found here https://dopaminedialogue.wordpress.com/withdrawal-2/
Physical manifestation of dopamine withdrawal can include pain in various places in your body, particularly in the groin region (this is known as blue ball), shakes, insomnia, fatigue, headaches and other symptoms. I only had one of those symptoms. Some have none some have all, your journey will be unique.
Psychological manifestation can include anxiety, irritability, sense of loss, depression, fear, sadness, lack of focus among others. Unfortunately I only started writing about my journey after day 100 so I do not remember any of these symptoms although I think I had several at the time. You may have none of them you may have all of them, and you may have some that are different than those listed.
What is important is that as you face any of these symptoms let your councilor/accountability partner know. You will be amazed at how much power it takes from your addiction when you frankly discuss this with your councilor/accountability partner.
Flatline
Flatline can be called the death of the libido. It is where you do not have any sexual desire, to the point that you are vey aware that you have no sexual desire. Personally if you ask me this is the flesh purposely trying to get you to look at porn by threatening you with no erections for the rest of your life. And it will use this to try to get you to look at porn to see if you can get an erection.
After I first masturbated a few times I knew I had done wrong and tried to quit. I quit for a few weeks. But this death of libido made me go into fear about ever having another erection so I foolishly went back to masturbation. I do not know if I was even looking at porn at this time, it was very soon after I started masturbating.
During my first month I had two weeks of this, and then sometime before my hundred day mark I had another one. It was without a doubt my flesh trying to scare me back into porn and masturbation.
Apparently some people really appreciate the flatline because it makes it easier to not think about sex or porn, but unfortunately it made me fearful. But for me this was one more place where I needed to trust God.
Again it was helpful to discuss this with my pastor.
Rationalization
This is an annoying one. Your flesh will constantly try to rationalize why you should go back to porn. I mean everything is a reason to go back to porn. Suffering from the effects of dopamine withdrawal? Your flesh will rationalize porn and masturbation. Not suffering from the effects of dopamine withdrawal? Your flesh will rationalize CELEBRATING with porn and masturbation. Get an erection, the flesh rationalizes this is a reason to look at porn and masturbate. Flatlining, this too is a reason to look at porn and masturbate.
I am at 40 weeks and my flesh tries to rationalize why I should look at porn, masturbate, not guard my eyes, fantasize about sex, etc. It is annoying.
Heck one day for whatever reason immodesty kept popping up in front of me and I kept bouncing my eyes without hesitation. You know what my flesh told me, it said I should look at porn because I would fail sooner or later anyway, and my response was that I cant even look at cleavage or a womans thighs. At this point I think it would be a hard thing for me to look at porn. Heck the very last time I looked at porn I was very depressed doing so, how would I feel after so much success?
Again this is a conversation I had with my pastor and it was so empowering to bring it up with him.
Fantasy
As you stop looking at porn your brain has got to process all the stuff you ever saw, and the things you fantasized about seeing. Those things will constantly be brought front and center into your mind. Recognize you will likely have several weeks where you face an avalanche of thoughts of all the stuff you saw.
My worst week was week 7, and for the most part this stuff stopped after week 15.
Again talk about it with your councilor/accountability partner.
Horny
This is opposite of the flatline. You very well may have several days in a row where you have erections hold for hours. I actually had some very funny conversations with my pastor about this. I had three days in a row where I had erections for over 5 hours.
Again when you talk to your councilor/accountability partner it takes away the power from the addiction.
Awareness
I do not know if this really falls under the umbrella of a withdrawal symptom or not but as you stop looking at porn after a few weeks or a few months you will began being very aware of the bodies of women. I was brought up to bounce my eyes off of immodesty, but as I became aware of every curve of every woman who was not dressed immodestly I had more areas to bounce my eyes.
While I was looking at porn why would I notice women? But once I was done looking at porn how would I not notice women. I am designed to like how they look. Its just my eyes lingered to long and I needed to be careful about that.
This awareness is a wonderful sign that you are overcoming your addiction. Don’t be sad here, but talk to your councilor/accountability partner.
Wet Dream
This is another one of those things where I do not know if it falls into the category of withdrawal symptom or not. There is a real possibility that you started masturbating before you ever had a wet dream. Personally I dont remember any wet dreams before I first masturbated. The thing is after several weeks of not looking at porn and not masturbating you will begin to have wet dreams. Your body constantly produces sperm and it has to do something with it, so if your not having sex or masturbating your bodies only recourse is wet dreams.
In the book "Every Man's Battle" (a book I do not recommend to the unmarried) he says that wet dreams are wonderful. I do not know how many people who stop looking at porn and stop masturbating find wet dreams to be a wonderful experience, I have not. I think it really just depends on the individual. Some will find that it makes the addiction easier to step away from others will find wet dreams drawing them back to porn.
I am definitely one of those people where wet dreams draws them back to porn. When I first got them they came with some really sexually graphic dreams, which took around a day or so to get out of my head, then once passed the 120 days or so mark I stopped getting graphic dreams with them, in fact most of the time since there have been no dreams (that I remember) when I had the wet dreams. But even then without having any sexual dream at all after wet dreams I feel strongly pulled back to porn. The day I write this I am 40 weeks in (280 days) and still they pull be toward porn with no dreams. Its frustrating, and yes I discuss this very intimate detail with my Pastor who is my councilor because it greatly helps take away the draw to porn. Is it embarrassing? Some what, but it is far better than the shame that comes with secretly viewing porn and masturbating.
That said twice I had somewhat painful wet dreams. I did so after the 200 day mark. One a week after the first. I have had wet dreams since and none have been painful since, I suspect due to all the masturbation I did in the bast not just my mind needed adjustment but my flesh to. If this happens to you endure it a few times. If it keeps up after 3 or 4 times and gets worse see a urologist, you may have something else wrong with you not related to withdrawal symptoms.
One last thing, WET DREAMS ARE NOT FAILURE! When I first got the wet dreams with graphically sexual dreams I felt like I had failed, and I felt like I was back to square one. Wet dreams are just a natural part of life for a guy, that you may have totally skipped until now due to when you started your addiction. The graphic dreams will go away it may take months but they do go away. Endure.