An Honest Realization
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You are at this website because you have an addiction that you hate that you cannot overcome. You are in a cycle where you will look at pornography masturbate feel awful and guilty for a few days, but then your desire to look at pornography and masturbate overcome your feelings of guilt and shame so you do it again, just to feel more guilt and shame. And the cycle repeats itself almost endlessly. Maybe you are thinking that when you get married and have legal sex that you will stop looking at porn. No one who does not deal with their porn addiction before marriage is magically cured of their addiction with legal sex.
If you do not deal with your addiction before you are married your addiction will go one of two ways after you are married. One after you have legal sex you will soon get bored with your wife and go back to porn with a vengeance and you will go YEARS without sex. Don’t believe me then put “my husband is addicted to porn” in your favorite search engine and read the comments section. Do you want that to be you? The other way it will go is adultery. You will go back to porn on the internet but it will not be enough, so you will start contacting people and one thing will lead to another and you will cheat on your wife. Generally when men give testimonies about how porn destroyed their life this is the one they give. Its just simpler to explain how porn led to adultery than to explain how porn kept you from having sex with your wife for five years. Let’s be honest most men deal with this addiction when there wife is threatening them with divorce. Do you want to be facing divorce in either one of these categories? Many times its easy to rationalize that porn will be easier to overcome as a married man, because then you can have legal sex to help you with your addiction. I will grant you that perhaps in the short run porn is easier for married men to deal with because they do not have to face the full wrath of withdrawal symptoms. But in the long run they have to deal with baggage, trust issues, and forever linking porn with their wife. If you deal with this addiction as a single you will not bring that baggage into your marriage, your wife will not have trust issues with you (this is very important as a womans number one need in a marriage is security) and you will never link your porn addiction to your spouse. First let us define porn. Porn is anything that gets you to fantasize about sex. Your battle with porn is not a battle of you verses a magazine, internet, or movie it is a battle between you and your thought life. Porn can be a sermon, porn can be a Christian book on dating, porn is you thinking about what you will do on your wedding night. But God has provided a way out. |