More than Stopping
As you get ready to overcome your porn addiction by fasting you need to recognize you need to replace the bad with the good. As you get things out of your life that draw you to porn you need to replace those things with things that draws you away from porn, or at least keeps you away from the things that draws you to porn. Stopping porn is not enough. You must do more than just stop.
In judges there is a story about a young man named Gideon. In the story Gideon was called to defeat the enemies of Israel but before he could do that he had to get the idol of baal out of his home. He didn’t just destroy the idol, he replaced it with an altar to the Lord. That’s what we are going to do with your addiction, get rid of it and put something else in its place.
The first thing you are going to do is you are going to go to church. I know many pharisees in the church quote Hebrews 10:25 out of context, but we are not just going to not forsake the assembling of ourselves together we are going to assemble at church the way God told us to in Hebrews 10:24, “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works”.
Heres the thing, when you go to church just sitting in a pew is not acceptable. When you go to church you need to go somewhere where you get to know the people and they get to know you and you learn to love the people and they love you back. Not a romantic love but a brotherly love towards your brothers and sisters in Christ. And as you learn to love these people and they learn to love you, you begin to work and minister to people in the church. Your goal is to find a place where you can serve with joy. It may be a greeter, Sunday school teacher, or in the choir, it doesn’t matter you need to serve somewhere in the church.
Personally I drive 60 miles to church one way on Sunday and Wednesdays to be part of a church where I love the people in church and they love me back and where I can serve in the church. I do this because it is not acceptable for me to just sit on a pew, and its not acceptable for me to go to church and not get close to the people there.
It doesn’t matter if the church is big or small. Jesus ministered to 5000 at times and other times Jesus ministered to 12. What matters is going to a church where you love one another, and where you can serve.
This is likely to be the place where you find someone who will council you or be your accountability partner.
Although church has a role to play in overcoming this addiction it is not the only thing you need to add to your life. I have heard people say that if a Christian reads there Bible and prays then they wont have trouble with porn. I immediately assume those guys are severely addicted to porn. Truth is porn attacks from many different areas so we need many tools to deal with it.
The next thing you need to do is do something with your time that puts you around people in a non work environment several times a week that is not church related. Unless you are in full time ministry or Bible college you probably have the evenings free to do this (Note I am assuming I am talking to singles).
I do karate two or three times a week. It takes me out of the house and away from the temptation of porn. It puts me around people and I can just get to know them. It allows me to be taught and to do a little bit of teaching.
Porn by its nature isolates you, going to a church and getting to know people, and then going to karate and getting to know people takes away some of the hold porn has for me, in more than one area of my life. It doesn’t matter if you do karate, boxing, boyscouts, a sewing circle, volunteer firefighter or whatever as long as you do some sort of activity that gets you out of the house and around people.
Perhaps you thought you needed to be a monk to defeat porn, and spend all your time in church. I can tell you from experience that I looked at porn when I spent 5 days a week at church averaging around 25 hours a week there. You need to be well rounded and be able to do something other than be “holy”. Jesus found Peter fishing. Paul was a tent maker. You need some sort of secular activity in your life to blow off steam. And you need to do it with others.
Then you need to find an industrious hobby. If you are like me you spent your childhood playing video games and watching cartoons. basically all that time is gone. What do you have to show for it?
You are going to spend a certain amount of time each week by yourself. I am not saying you can never play video games or watch tv. But you need a hobby that is industrious. Mine is writing fantasy. Maybe you can tell from my articles that I did very poorly in grammar when I was in school. But I enjoy reading fantasy so I write it. Mine is terrible and maybe someday I will get good enough to publish something, if not its fine. When I am focused on writing I am improving myself in a way video games and tv cant improve me. And it takes away power from porn in my alone time.
Industrious hobbies can include building a website (apparently I am doing that too), building a video (instead of playing one), learning to play a musical instrument (or mastering one), Learning to cook something you have always wanted to try, sewing, etc. What have you always wanted to do?
Finally exercise. I don’t care if you lift weights, practice karate, run a mile or ride a freaking horse. Find an exercise that you like doing and exercise. Exercise will teach you self-discipline and you are going to need as much of that as possible to overcome this addiction.
I strongly suggest you start preparing these four areas in your life today. Even if you just consider how you can do it. As I said back in the fasting and counseling section, it will likely take you 6 to 8 weeks to get to the place where you can and should confess your addiction to a spiritual counselor but putting these strategies in place before hand will really be helpful and take away a lot of your addictions ability to fight back once you are finally able to confess and be restored from your addiction.
In judges there is a story about a young man named Gideon. In the story Gideon was called to defeat the enemies of Israel but before he could do that he had to get the idol of baal out of his home. He didn’t just destroy the idol, he replaced it with an altar to the Lord. That’s what we are going to do with your addiction, get rid of it and put something else in its place.
The first thing you are going to do is you are going to go to church. I know many pharisees in the church quote Hebrews 10:25 out of context, but we are not just going to not forsake the assembling of ourselves together we are going to assemble at church the way God told us to in Hebrews 10:24, “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works”.
Heres the thing, when you go to church just sitting in a pew is not acceptable. When you go to church you need to go somewhere where you get to know the people and they get to know you and you learn to love the people and they love you back. Not a romantic love but a brotherly love towards your brothers and sisters in Christ. And as you learn to love these people and they learn to love you, you begin to work and minister to people in the church. Your goal is to find a place where you can serve with joy. It may be a greeter, Sunday school teacher, or in the choir, it doesn’t matter you need to serve somewhere in the church.
Personally I drive 60 miles to church one way on Sunday and Wednesdays to be part of a church where I love the people in church and they love me back and where I can serve in the church. I do this because it is not acceptable for me to just sit on a pew, and its not acceptable for me to go to church and not get close to the people there.
It doesn’t matter if the church is big or small. Jesus ministered to 5000 at times and other times Jesus ministered to 12. What matters is going to a church where you love one another, and where you can serve.
This is likely to be the place where you find someone who will council you or be your accountability partner.
Although church has a role to play in overcoming this addiction it is not the only thing you need to add to your life. I have heard people say that if a Christian reads there Bible and prays then they wont have trouble with porn. I immediately assume those guys are severely addicted to porn. Truth is porn attacks from many different areas so we need many tools to deal with it.
The next thing you need to do is do something with your time that puts you around people in a non work environment several times a week that is not church related. Unless you are in full time ministry or Bible college you probably have the evenings free to do this (Note I am assuming I am talking to singles).
I do karate two or three times a week. It takes me out of the house and away from the temptation of porn. It puts me around people and I can just get to know them. It allows me to be taught and to do a little bit of teaching.
Porn by its nature isolates you, going to a church and getting to know people, and then going to karate and getting to know people takes away some of the hold porn has for me, in more than one area of my life. It doesn’t matter if you do karate, boxing, boyscouts, a sewing circle, volunteer firefighter or whatever as long as you do some sort of activity that gets you out of the house and around people.
Perhaps you thought you needed to be a monk to defeat porn, and spend all your time in church. I can tell you from experience that I looked at porn when I spent 5 days a week at church averaging around 25 hours a week there. You need to be well rounded and be able to do something other than be “holy”. Jesus found Peter fishing. Paul was a tent maker. You need some sort of secular activity in your life to blow off steam. And you need to do it with others.
Then you need to find an industrious hobby. If you are like me you spent your childhood playing video games and watching cartoons. basically all that time is gone. What do you have to show for it?
You are going to spend a certain amount of time each week by yourself. I am not saying you can never play video games or watch tv. But you need a hobby that is industrious. Mine is writing fantasy. Maybe you can tell from my articles that I did very poorly in grammar when I was in school. But I enjoy reading fantasy so I write it. Mine is terrible and maybe someday I will get good enough to publish something, if not its fine. When I am focused on writing I am improving myself in a way video games and tv cant improve me. And it takes away power from porn in my alone time.
Industrious hobbies can include building a website (apparently I am doing that too), building a video (instead of playing one), learning to play a musical instrument (or mastering one), Learning to cook something you have always wanted to try, sewing, etc. What have you always wanted to do?
Finally exercise. I don’t care if you lift weights, practice karate, run a mile or ride a freaking horse. Find an exercise that you like doing and exercise. Exercise will teach you self-discipline and you are going to need as much of that as possible to overcome this addiction.
I strongly suggest you start preparing these four areas in your life today. Even if you just consider how you can do it. As I said back in the fasting and counseling section, it will likely take you 6 to 8 weeks to get to the place where you can and should confess your addiction to a spiritual counselor but putting these strategies in place before hand will really be helpful and take away a lot of your addictions ability to fight back once you are finally able to confess and be restored from your addiction.